she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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