I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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