I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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