I feel like I'm in dance class right now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
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soooo we both peed the bed last night...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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