currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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