i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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