Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
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ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize