Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize