oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize