New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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