I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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