I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize