I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize