i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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