Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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