have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize