it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize