I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize