absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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