I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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