no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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