1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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