the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize