They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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