Even the bartender felt bad for me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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