I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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