It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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