How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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