he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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