So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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