yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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