So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize