Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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