I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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