this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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