I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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