I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize