I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize