Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize