We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize