Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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