Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize