k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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