hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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