did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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