We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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