ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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