Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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