You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
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i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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