i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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