If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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