i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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